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I
had not yet grasped the nature of Valentine’s Day. Now I am grateful to every day that makes me think about important things, like love, loneliness and friendship.
I met my friend. There she sat, opposite of my seat, sweet and open- hearted like a remembered her half year ago. I realized that in the world of friendship there are no time or quantity. It doesn’t matter how often you meet or how much you speak on the phone. What matters is the content. What matters is the trust and open- heartedness. What matters is to feel that she is feeling as good as you.
Today I understood first time what Valentines Day is. It is not about chocolates, flowers, hearts or Amor arrows. It is about giving a thought and taking the time to do so.
In Facebook there were several discussions about that day. Shouldn’t we love our friends every day not only one day? Is your partner a friend? Etc. Good that we are debating and thinking about those things! In this busy and routine pace of life we usually forget to do that. These are interesting questions! Concerning to relationships even important ones. Who are our partners? What kind of qualities he/she needs to have? Who are our friends? What is essential about them? Are we not overestimating our powers when we say that we notice our friends every day or that we are thinking about them every day? Or saying that our girlfriends should get flowers every day, although not giving them flowers every day? I agree 110% that it would be wonderful if we would do that. In a way we love them every day. Question is, do we daily do something with that love?
I remember that in my school days this 14.02 was frightening. Who made which kind of card to whom? Who gave to who what? Like a Mexico soap opera, only in a kids world. It wasn’t just thinking about friends or loving them, it was about expectations and things. Expectations bring disappointment. And disappointment brings suffering. I have to admit that one of my biggest patterns is disappointment. I hate that feeling. Often I discover myself trying to save relationships, which are already dead, because I don’t want to feel it again. Then it is so easy to say that loneliness is good. “I don’t need a partner.” “I don’t need friends.” Sometimes we don’t, I agree. But my experience says that most of the times, when we say that, we are injecting something narcotic. Then we live in the world, which doesn’t have a lot of common with the world we should live in.
Maybe Valentines Day has become an adherent of cheap expectations and things. Let it be. Question is what kind of value to you give it? Today I started to like this day. I feel gratitude that there is at least one day, which kind of forces me to think about such things. And I have feeling that it doesn’t force only me to think about them.
14 of February also brought up memories when we were children and after several hours in the sea we warmed ourselves against sun hot stone and talked about who we want to be. At that point everything was possible! No expectations, disappointments, pointless gifts, just knowing and friends with who to share the dreams.
1. Buy a helium balloon. Or just a balloon;
2. Write your wish on a small piece of paper;
3. Attach the paper to balloon and let the balloon to go its own way. Let the wish free so it can go and fulfill itself.
PS! I guarantee if you do it with someone you love, it is double good.
2. Write your wish on a small piece of paper;
3. Attach the paper to balloon and let the balloon to go its own way. Let the wish free so it can go and fulfill itself.
PS! I guarantee if you do it with someone you love, it is double good.
Ma polnud siiani mõistnud Valentinipäeva olemust. Nüüd aga olen tänulik igale tähtpäevale, mis paneb mõtlema olulistele asjadele, seekord siis armastusele, üksindusele ja sõprusele.
Sain hommikul kokku oma sõbrannaga. Seal ta istus, minu vastas, sama armas, kallis ja avatud, nagu ma teda pool aastat tagasi mäletasin. Taipasin, et sõpruse maailmas puudub aeg ja kvantiteet. Pole vahet mitu korda sa kellegagi kuu jooksul kokku saad või telefonis räägid. Oluline on sisu. Oluline on usaldus ja avatus. Oluline on tunda, et temal on täpselt sama hea nagu sinul.
Täna mõtestasin endale esimest korda lahti Sõbrapäeva olemuse. Asi pole shokolaadis, lilledes, südametes või Amori nooltes. Asi on järele mõtlemises ja aja maha võtmises.
Facebookis levis mitu Sõbrapäeva arutelu. Kas ühe päeva asemel ei peaks iga päev oma sõpru armastama? Kas elukaaslane on sõber? jne. Tore, et me nende teemade üle mõtteid vahetame! Kiires ja rutiinses elutempos unustame seda enamjaolt teha. Huvitavad küsimused ju! Suhete mõistes ka baasilised. Kes on meie partner? Milliseid väärtusi ta võiks omada? Kes on minu sõbrad? Mida ma nende puhul oluliseks pean? Kas me mitte hinda üle oma võimeid, kui väidame, et paneme iga päev tähele oma sõpru või mõtleme neile? Või kui väidame, et lilli võiks oma naisele iga päev tuua, ise seda ometi mitte tehes? Olen 110% nõus, et oleks imeline, kui me seda kõike tihedamini teeksime. Eks omamoodi armastamegi iga päev neid, kes kallid. Küsimus on vast selles, kas me selle armastusega ka midagi ette võtame?
Mäletan, et koolis oli 14.02 mulle hirmutav. Kes kellele kaardi teeb või tegi? Kes kellele mida kinkis? Nagu mehhiko seebiooper, ainult, et lapse maailmas. Asi polnud pelgalt mõtete mõlgutamises ja armastamises, vaid ootustes ja asjades. Ootused on need, mis toovad kaasa pettumuse. Pettumus aga kannatuse. Pean tõdema, et üks minu elu suurimaid mustreid on pettumine. Ma ei kannata seda tunnet! Avastan tihti end kihutamas kuskile metsapoole, et mitte seda kogeda. Püüan päästa suhteid, mis juba ammu hauas. Seetõttu on vahel nii lihtne väita, kui hea on üksindus. “Ma ei vaja enda kõrvale partnerit.” “Ma ei vaja endale sõpru ja tuttavaid.” Mõnikord me ei vajagi. Minu kogemus ütleb, et enamus kordadel, kui nii väidame, süstime endale midagi uimastavat. Sel juhul elame maailmas, millel pole just palju tegemist eluga, mida võiksime elada.
Võib-olla on Sõbrapäevast saanud üks odav ootuste ja asjade jünger. Las ta siis olla. Iseasi, millise väärtuse sina talle annad! Mulle hakkas see päev alates tänasest meeldima. Tunnen suurt tänulikkust, et on olemas vähemalt üks päev aastas, mis justkui vägisi paneb mind nendel teemadel ajusid ragistama. Ja mulle tundub, et mitte ainult minul.
14. veerbuar tõi mälusoppidest esile ka need päevad, kui me lastena peale mitme tunnist meres olemist soojendasime ennast vastu päikesekuuma kivi ja rääkisime kelleks me saada tahame. Sel hetkel oli kõik võimalik! Ei ootusi, pettumusi, mõttetuid kingitusi, vaid teadmine ja sõbrad, kellega seda kõike jagada. Olid alles ajad!
Tehnika 303:
1. Osta heeliumiga õhupall. Kui sa ei saa heeliumiga õhupalli, siis võib olla ka tavaline;
2. Kirjuta väikesele paberile oma soov;
3. Seo see paber õhupalli külge ja lase sellel õhupallil tuule käes oma tee leida. Lase soov vabaks, et ta saaks end täitma minna.
PS! Garanteerin, et kui teete seda koos kellegi kalliga, siis on topelt mõnus.
1 Comments
Catching Wish
365 ways to get what I truly want
That hits the tagert perfectly. Thanks!